when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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