i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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