I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
