Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I'm having to shit out rocks
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
