i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
