She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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