If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
