i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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