Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We have so much sex to catch up on
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
