i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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