i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
