I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize