I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
