what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
