my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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