it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
