i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
