I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
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Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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