to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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