are you still at the devil's house?
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
