mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
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