i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
