i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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