nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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