Apparently you make a good broom.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Randomize
