Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
This house was built for laser tag.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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