Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
