Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
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