Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
