Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
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