At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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