Just mADE A PArabola og urine
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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