Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
