Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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