You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
