When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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