There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
