if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
