I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
