Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
