Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
All I want is dick and wine.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
