Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
