i think i have herpe
just one?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize