We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
