Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
