Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
