We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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