either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
