I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
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