there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
