I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
