Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
