using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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