she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
