you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
