It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
