dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The beers last night were like the tears from god
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
