Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
You may now shotgun with the bride
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize