Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
