Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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