The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
