Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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