So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
