No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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