this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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